Hurt to breath _____ A fiction from Urdu literature, Written by: Mohammad Hameed Shahid, Translated by: Farooq Sarwar
.Suddenly his mind diverted to his father
Not only to his father, but the special part of the time too, when he was ready to die
He completely lost himself in his thinking, like a bread in the oven, which bakes and then burns, yes, which takes longer than its exact time. You also say which takes more time, till its complete burn, damage and elimination.
He watched again and again towards the old man, consequently his poor father became happy. The father was waiting only for this special time ,attention and glance, the final love of his son.
Finally the time of waiting got it’s last. Was it the existence of his father? No it was just a flame, now the flame became disturbed and finally the miserable flame disappeared due to its bitter annoyance.
Now he was motionless like a dead body, who was continuously gazing his father. His father was gazing towards him too,but he was motionless,the difference between the father and son was death. Really there was no life in the eyes of his father.
It was impossible for him to tolerate this helplessness of his lovely and beauteous father. Now his hand was shivering, he moved it and closed the open eyes of his father. He was continuously thinking with his tearful eyes that this was the life?
That’s the sound of life
A cry, he heard it outside the labour room, although it was very weak, with no break and no gap, but the sound was full of life.
It surprised him, he looked around him, but no one was paying any attention to him. It seemed as if it was his fear and he heard nothing ۔ No doubt there was a gallery outside the labour room, but no one heard any voice as well, if anybody heard it, possibly it was surprising for such person, but all the faces were motionless and frozen like ice.
It seemed that the present people wanted to hear, those special voices which they need.
Now he tried to satisfy him, he heard a special sound of a cry, though it was very weak.
“It was the art of your father, who felt complete life and then he lived it. Just in the manners like you feel the blossom of flowers in your breath, you can destroy the colours of butterflies through your fingers, you can feel the flow of water on your naked body, same in such manners, when he was dealing the death, so in these crucial moments he was in his senses”
Mother was speaking without any pause, but he had no courage to interfere,even if he says something, what would he say.
“Do you know what I myself observed in your father, many times, I felt that though he is sitting, he is dead, but he was not dead. It was his hobby to feel the death, therefore he was habitual to handover himself to the death for a while”
It was also the version of the mother.
“It was not a joke for him to handover himself to the death.No, he acknowledged death to himself, but avoided it. He waited for the death, my son ,when the time came, he was ready for the separation of life from his body.”
The separation of one living being from the belly of another being, it is not easier and painless, it is painful for the complete body, it is facing the horrible death too, even in these crucial hours the merciless death is playing with your body too. O God how difficult it is.
No doubt it is crucial, but enjoyable and cheerful as well .
It has the strength .It forcefully pushes the death, away and more away.
“Please push ,push till baby out”
Lady doctor cried.
No doubt it was a difficult job۔For a woman during childbirth this is a death sentence. The poor woman became so weak in her struggle that she began to look helpless.Now somebody feel sympathy with her, because she was dying.Her position was worsening with the passage of each second, even now she was near to death.The lady doctor and her staff were also alarmed to see this bad and critical position of the patient.
Although he was outside the labour room, but he was listening the drama, his mental position was also not satisfactory.
His mother in law was also present in the the waiting room near the labour room. When her daughter’s screamed louder, she left the waiting room and entered in the special room with confusion, which they got for their patient in the hospital.
He followed his mother in law and also entered in the room.But his mother-in-law was sitting on jaa-E- Namaz
and was praying to God that the God saved her life. But he could not stop there and again entered in the corridor.
Now he was hearing voices on both sides.
The use less people don’t deserve to live
It was the third voice , which he listened. It was the very old idea of some people and now it was an idiom. Two young nurses crossed him in the corridor. The nurse, who delivered this sentence, seemed very ruthless, but she was confused as well.The phrase also bothered the nurse, probably because she didn’t laugh.
Again she tried to repeat her merciless sentence, but in vain.It was just as if a hook had been stuck in the throat of a fish. Both the nurses were in their typical white dresses.The tyrannical kind of nurse seemed very kind of confused ,because of her tone and style. Now she looked towards the roundabout, where three labour rooms were already present.
The appearance of nurse was very charming. She was teenager and very beautiful too. Now he was thinking about the nurse.The girl was suffering from severe depression and was no longer able to bear her scars.
It was also a surprise for him, that he was unable to feel any kind of anger over the bad and abnormal attitude of the nurse. Really it was impossible for him.
“Sorry sir believe me it was very impossible for me.”
The Lady Doctor looked very embarrassed with her accent.
“But Doctor you told me that it was a very normal and easy case.”
His mother in law discusses with the doctor.
“No doubt it was very easy, now there is no cooperation from the side of your daughter, she is not moving her body ,even her legs, we say push,push the baby, but she does not show any result.The baby is in the belly, craving and will die.”
It was enough for his harassment,but it was too much for the anger of his mother in law.
“Doctor it is done due to your irresponsibility ,you are the irresponsible.”
Now the old lady was moaning and weeping.
” My daughter is suffering from pain and you are busy with other patients.”
He kept his hand on the shoulder of his mother in law, so she stopped.
“Please save the lives of both.”
It seemed that the lady doctor was just waiting for this special sentence.
The doctor extracted a paper from the file that contained one of the papers already.The professional doctor placed the finger in an empty space. He signed it without noticing his mother in law.
Meanwhile the figure of his mother emerged before him.
“My son life has a price and it is the reality that it always demands it.”
He again remembers his mother, when at this time she was digging the earth.
“When you do not pay this price, so the grave is open.”
While speaking, his mother was using a straw that had become a bit of an empty space.
It was just the mouth of a grave.
No ,it was the door of life.
When he signed the paper. The lady doctor re entered in the labour room. He intended to think again and again about the sentence and excerpt of his mother that he listened a powerful cry and a shrike,but there was also a weak voice, which was probably a baby cry, which had the complete colour of life.
29th September 2019